In this article we are going to talk about the How To Be A Good Mother? There is a saying that when a woman becomes a mother, she is reborn herself along with her child. It is a new and the biggest and most important part of a woman’s life. No matter what kind of person she has been her whole life, ambitious or career-driven; once she becomes a mother, her whole life revolves around her children and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She can never smile when her child is crying and cannot see them in pain or suffering. She would do anything to give them everything and anything they want just to see them happy. Also, She would never want her children to go through any kind of pain that she might have gone through in life herself.
How to be a good mother?
Being a mother comes naturally to a woman. Women are sensible and know how to take care of other people since a very young age. A child is like soft clay ready to be moulded in any way the parent sees well. Whatever we do in life, it reflects from the upbringing we have had from our parents and we live with it our whole lives. A person’s childhood is the time they remember fir their whole lives. So it really depends on our parents what kind of life we would lead. Although it can come naturally, still if it is the first time or a mother can feel anxious about being a mother. So here are a few pointers that might help you.
1. Prioritizes her child
Every woman had a life before becoming a mother. She would spend all her time working or doing a hobby or spending time with her friends and family. But after becoming a mother, her whole schedule wrecks into a havoc. All her days and concerns are about her children. A good mother prioritizes her child over anything. Side-hobbies or spending time with friends feels like a luxury. Her whole life revolves around her children. Children need a lot of attention. If they do not get it at home they would look for it outside and not everyone is their well-wisher. So for the betterment and proper upbringing of her children, she should prioritize them over anything.
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2. Spend time
Children consume majority of a mother’s time just by their responsibility. But besides the responsibilities as well, a good mother should look forward to spending some time playing or doing activities together with her children. There is a saying that when parents give time to their children in their childhood, those children give time to their elder parents when they grow up. Children have a lot to say as they are new to this world, so it comes as an obligation on the part of the parents to calm their minds and spend maximum time with them.
3. Doesn’t resent her child
As mentioned earlier as well, a woman’s life take a 180 degrees turn after becoming a mother. Her whole life seems to be revolving around her child and she has no time left for herself or doing anything that she like personally. She can sometimes think about her life before becoming a mother and miss how she had a lot of time in her hand. But now, she hardly is able to perform all the necessary tasks. It can plant a seed of bitterness in her mind towards her child.
She can resent her child for taking away that stress-free life. But a good mother would never feel that way. She can of course miss that lifestyle because who would want to live in stress; but she chose this. She chose this when she decided to become a mother so her child doesn’t deserve any hatred for that. Seeing her child happy and healthy should be enough for her to forget all about her tensions.
4. Encourage your child
Children are like soft clay and can be moulded into fine human beings according to the circumstances. There is no one in this world who would want the best for them more than their parents. They would always want to see their children happy with their lives and not resenting the kind of life they are leading. Parents play a huge role in the kind of life they would lead when they grow up. What a parent can do is to encourage their children. A good mother should never force her expectations on her children that they do not want to achieve. She can guide them towards the right path but she should leave it up to them what they want to become and pursue in life. They can do whatever they want as a profession and a parent should always encourage their talents and skills.
5. Equal attention
This usually happens when a couple give birth to a second child. The younger one would need more attention and time. A mother would be tired herself after 9 months of pregnancy. During this time, the older child can feel neglected and feel less important. They have also received a set of responsibilities automatically after becoming an older sibling. So it is the responsibility of the parents that they do not completely neglect their first child after the birth of the second child.
Both children should get equal attention after the initial months after the birth of the second child have passed. If the parents do not take care of this, older child can starting feeling resentful towards their younger sibling because all the attention got snatched away from them and went to the younger one. So, both should be given equal attention so that the whole family can live peacefully with each other.
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6. Reasonable rules and expectations
Children’s whole life depends on how they have been treated during their children. A good mother should not set unreasonable expectations for their children that they struggle in achieving. Encouraging the children comes with the duty of a parent but not pushing their children to the extreme that their child starts hating this thing about their mother. It is understandable that you want your child to be the best but every mother wants that and not all children can be the best.
Not all children are the same; everyone has their own capabilities and talents that a mother should recognize. Also, setting unreasonable rules on their children can lead them to lying to you. They would see their peers and would want some level of freedom and privacy; if you do not provide them with it, they would start lying to you to get away from you. Children are innocent and don’t know what’s best for them so this becomes a responsibility of the parents.
7. Answer their questions
Children are very curious about everything. There are a lot of new things in this world that they are not aware of. This does not only happen when they are young, but when they have grown up as well, there are new things that they discover everyday through experiences and would want answers from their parents. If their curiosity is not calmed down by their parents they would go outside to look for answers. You can never be sure about what kind of people they would meet and they can guide them towards the wrong path. So it is a responsibility of a parent to listen to whatever their children have to say and answer their questions so that they can get right answers.
8. Don’t expect them to be perfect
Every mother wants their child to excel in every field and perform the best. They want their children to do what they might not have been able to achieve in their own life but this can be called imposition. Don’t impose your own dreams on your children. You can be perfectionist but that is how you are, you cannot expect your children to follow your exact footsteps. No child is capable of being the best at everything. Every child has their own set of skills and talents and it is a role of the mother to recognize what her children are good at and polish those talents.
They should do what they dream of doing without any pressure. Even if they are doing what they want to, don’t push them extremely to be perfect at it. For example, if your child is good at playing football, don’t expect them to secure a goal each time they kick a goal. It takes time and practice to be good at something and let them take their time.
9. Don’t be lenient
As written above as well, a child’s whole life depends on their upbringing and how they are treated by their parents. Being too strict would make them lie to you and hide things from you but being too lenient would lead them to being spoiled. Spoiled children bully other children and do not want to work hard in life. They should know how to earn their rewards. Being too lenient with them can turn them into brats who only think about themselves. They should be caring and know what kind of actions can hurt other’s feelings. Only this would turn them into responsible and careful adults who know how to deal with the world.
10. Take care of yourself
This might be the last point in the list but it is equally important as the others. A mother should take care of herself along with her children so that she is healthy enough to look after them. Eat meals on time, exercise regularly, don’t overwork yourself and manage your time in a way so that you get proper rest. Take rest when your children are resting. This would include the help from the father as well. He should understand that a mother’s rest is equally important as the child’s rest. Mother alone can raise her child; both the parents have an important role.
Being a perfect mother is hardly achievable, but you should try to be a good mother.